Every.single.day.
Every single day I think, "I'm going to write today. I'm going to answer the question. I'm going to share what I would say to Shawn if he was back for just two days."
It's not that I don't know what I would say.
I have been having the conversation with him in my head for over a month now.
I even shared with Lily what I would say to her Dad if he was back for just two days.
Two days is quite a long time, actually.
Do I have two days worth of things I would want to say?
And what about him?
Do I imagine him reacting in the way I would want?
Or do I imagine the way he might have really reacted if I had shared these things with him before he died?
I suppose it is my exercise - my story - I can make it up however I want.
And maybe that is what has made it hard?
If I imagine the reaction I would want is it too painful to never actually have it?
1 comment:
Perhaps you've set a rather impossible exercise, because it would only be imaginary and you don't know what he would say. On the other hand, he is gone and this is your story, so you could say what ever you wanted or needed to. Just keep writing. It doesn't really matter what. I believe writing is powerful and healing. Much love x
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