Watch very carefully, Jenny. If you make a mistake Daddy could die.
Mommy is showing me the two insulin bottles. She is normally the one to "draw" his insulin each morning and leave it sitting next to his breakfast.
This summer she will be at work and I will be staying home with Daddy to work on the cars. It will be my job to draw his insulin in the mornings.
It's very important to tap the bubbles out of the syringe. If there are air bubbles in there and he injects them he could die.
Why is she telling me this (it turns out it's not even true)?
Why is she making such a big deal about this? Is she really worried he will die?
Or does she want me to kill him?
I would do it if she wanted me to. I'm not afraid. I wouldn't even feel bad.
What am I thinking? It's not normal to think about killing your Father is it?
I'm only 8. Other 8 year olds don't have to think about this stuff. I can't tell anyone how I feel.
No one.
Do I ask Mom if she wants me to kill him? Do I tell any of my friends that I think about killing my father? How about a teacher? Family?
No. Just file it away. Accept that you are different. That no one can understand.
Why would they give me this responsibility for my Father's life? I'm only 8.
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